why-am-i-pluto:

Figured tumblr might like to see this.

"You start where you can make a difference."

starkurt:

As of November 1st, I will be homeless.

With a year of unemployment, my parents are completely fed up. I’ll make it clear, it’s not by lack of trying. I submit multiple applications a week (for the already little number of jobs available in my area), and despite numerous calls and…

youcantcancelquidditch:

youcantcancelquidditch:

youcantcancelquidditch:

dorm life

oh my god the response email converts the description to all caps and

om f g the maintenance guy just showed up like “you have a problem with your sink? and also a… fan… returning to the mothership.” and i was like ‘uh’ and then he just grinned and was like ‘yeah, i got the call and the guy on the phone just goes ‘i’ve got to read you this one.

smokingjointswithmileycyrus:

relationship goal: a relationship

  • Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
  • Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
  • Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
  • Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
  • Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
  • Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  • An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
  • A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
  • An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
  • A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
  • Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
  • An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
  • Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
  • Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
  • Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
  • Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
  • Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
  • A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
  • A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
  • Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
  • PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
  • Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
  • Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
  • Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
  • Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
  • Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
  • An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
  • Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
  • Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
  • Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
  • Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
  • Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
  • Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.
  • Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
  • Cows: The shit you go through.
  • This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
panicrobot:

This man was our president for EIGHT YEARS. We are never gonna live this down panicrobot:

This man was our president for EIGHT YEARS. We are never gonna live this down panicrobot:

This man was our president for EIGHT YEARS. We are never gonna live this down panicrobot:

This man was our president for EIGHT YEARS. We are never gonna live this down panicrobot:

This man was our president for EIGHT YEARS. We are never gonna live this down panicrobot:

This man was our president for EIGHT YEARS. We are never gonna live this down

panicrobot:

This man was our president for EIGHT YEARS. We are never gonna live this down

inspectorpervert:

jean valjean is at the baker’s. “how much for these buns?” jean valjean asks. “oh, it’s two for 6.01,” the baker says. jean valjean turns very pale

(Source: urlcarpenter)

Kitty Wilde - Text Posts (part 1)

(Source: minddykaling)

dinocology:

astrodidact:

Teenager from India invents device that can convert breath to speech
A high school student from India has invented a device that can convert a person’s breath into speech, to give millions of people around the world suffering from speech impediment a ‘voice’ for the first time.
Sixteen-year-old Arsh Shah Dilbagi has developed a new technology called ‘TALK’, which is a cheap and portable device to help people who are physically incapable of speaking express themselves. Right now, 1.4 percent of the world’s population has very limited or no speech, due to conditions such as Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), locked-in syndrome (LIS), Encephalopathy (SEM), Parkinson’s disease, and paralysis.
http://www.sciencealert.com.au/news/20141509-26176.html

His name is Arsh Shah Dilbagi and he’s 16 years old. Gettin tired of sensationalized “mystery baby from a country where people are brown does a science thing!” articles. Use peoples names, don’t act so surprised when people of color are geniuses.

dinocology:

astrodidact:

Teenager from India invents device that can convert breath to speech

A high school student from India has invented a device that can convert a person’s breath into speech, to give millions of people around the world suffering from speech impediment a ‘voice’ for the first time.

Sixteen-year-old Arsh Shah Dilbagi has developed a new technology called ‘TALK’, which is a cheap and portable device to help people who are physically incapable of speaking express themselves. Right now, 1.4 percent of the world’s population has very limited or no speech, due to conditions such as Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), locked-in syndrome (LIS), Encephalopathy (SEM), Parkinson’s disease, and paralysis.

http://www.sciencealert.com.au/news/20141509-26176.html

His name is Arsh Shah Dilbagi and he’s 16 years old. Gettin tired of sensationalized “mystery baby from a country where people are brown does a science thing!” articles. Use peoples names, don’t act so surprised when people of color are geniuses.

rebornica:

It was funnier in my head
rebornica:

It was funnier in my head
rebornica:

It was funnier in my head
rebornica:

It was funnier in my head
rebornica:

It was funnier in my head

rebornica:

It was funnier in my head